Can women have sex like men? (The Mindy Project)

             

             

For those who might not be familiar with The Mindy Project, the third season just kicked off this past week with the star of the show venturing into a serious romantic relationship. Those who do know the show, however, will know that Mindy has not always been in this position. On the contrary actually, much of the show is dedicated to narrating the many failed attempts at love for Mindy Lahiri, protagonist of the show. One of these attempts included a casual sexual encounter, A.K.A. the well known “one night stand.” As is seen in the episode “Hooking Up Is Hard” from Season 1 of The Mindy Project, having sex like a man is a lot harder than it seems.

The show in general revolves around the the protagonist of the show, Mindy Lahiri, a successful OB GYN in Manhattan who balances her professional life with her sometimes dysfunctional social and romantic life. At the time of this episode, Mindy is becoming impatient in finding a right guy to date which is particularly inconvenient because of the fact that she really needs to get laid. Thus, she vents about her current romantic turmoil with one of the other partners at her clinic who advises her to settle for a more casual alternative to “seeing people.” Maybe seeking out someone who she is attracted to but does not respect or see a future with would be a better option to satisfy her “needs.” In compliance with this advice, Mindy targets a partner of their rival firm who they all despise to potentially ease her sexual tensions. However, when she actually goes through with the one night stand, her evening is soured after a series of awkward interactions before they are even able to get intimate. That is, if you consider extremely uncomfortable foreplay and even getting walked in on by their coworkers mid-foreplay session some awkward interactions. All in all, her pursuit of casual sex (i.e., “sex like a man”) is shown to be difficult, uncomfortable and ultimately futile in this particular episode.

Based on what we know about depictions of adult women’s sex life, with particular consideration of Gail Markle’s findings in her “Can Women Have Sex Like a Man?” article, what The Mindy Project’s portrayal potentially adds to the conversation is something like, “Sure, women can try to have sex ‘like a man,’ but it’s actually harder than it seems.” As we see in Markle’s work, the findings suggest that the women in Sex and the City partake in mostly recreational sex which, for some, could be synonymous with “sex like a man.” Additionally, they have a lot more sex than what the average woman reports having. With these findings in mind, what Markle suggests is that the women of Sex and the City become a “symbolic representation of ‘female subject positions’ whom viewers can emulate in fantasy” (Markle, 2008). While Sex and the City may provide a symbolic fantasy for female viewers about sexual behavior, I would argue that in this episode, The Mindy Project might exemplify more of a reality check for viewers. Or, if not a reality check, at the very least a less glamorized version of how a one night stand might actually end up looking like.

I would say that this depiction contributes to an overall trend in media where more women are represented in the act of taking control of their sexual lives. Even though Mindy was not able to seal the deal, she definitely took it upon herself to initiate the events that she wanted to partake in. During an elevator ride with her sex-partner to be, Mindy actively analyzes Deslaurier as a potential hook up until she decides that, yes, she lacks enough respect for him and is sufficiently attracted to him to where he would be an ideal option. Once this is done, she openly asks him if he’d be interested in her “coming over” to “hang out,” some code words that Deslaurier is quickly able to decipher. Thus, even though this presents one night stands differently than Sex and the City, it still adds to this professional, educated, empowered woman type who embraces their sexual autonomy. In terms of how this would be coded in Markle’s study, I would say that it may be considered an interrupted encounter, where there is a consent to sex on both ends which under certain circumstances is not able to be carried out.

Moreover, considering the different angle that this depiction takes, the Mindy Project might provide a more realistic portrayal of one night stands (awkwardness and all) which could potentially impact viewers in a neither positive nor negative but just a different way than Sex and the City. Contrary to how Sex and the City depicts the frequency or nature of sexual encounters in a way that is not actually representative of how often women actually have sex, The Mindy Project might present a scenario for viewers to absorb that may say.. “go forth with your bad selves and consider a hook up, but be weary of the dangers.” By giving this event a sense of realism, female viewers could potentially extract the take-away point that women do actually venture on these sexual encounters. Albeit, it could fail and be totally awkward, but women actually go for it and take a shot anyway. In this way, the depiction strays from the concept of recreational sex as a mere fantasy and frames recreational sex as an option that women are more open to taking. For future research, it would be interesting to see if women could potentially be primed with depictions like these to possibly be more open to casual sexual encounters. I wonder if the awkwardness and realism it incorporates would encourage or discourage engaging in the risk of recreational sex “like a man.” In any case, it is interesting to see depictions like The Mindy Project contribute to an overall trend of women taking their sex lives by the horns.

References:

Markle, G. (2008). “Can women have sex like a man?”: Sexual scripts in "Sex and the City". Sexuality & Culture, 12(1), 45-°©‐57.