Movie Analysis: Blue Valentine

I have always disliked movies that oversimplify issues like war and love, both of which are actually extremely complicated in reality. I think that is why I like Blue Valentine so much, because it explores the issue of marriage and relationships from multiple perspectives, and focuses on all the small details, giving unusual depth and gravity to an otherwise fairly straightforward film. Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling have been married five years already. Their marriage, not so much a product of love than it is life, has been rocky. The audience can tell that the relationship is beginning to become very one-sided with Ryan's feelings for Michelle a lot stronger than it is the other way around. Already we can see that the movie includes topics like pregnancy and protection as the consequences of sex, a trait that runs counter to a lot of the mainstream media (Ward, 2003). In fact, because the movie encompasses two central plotlines, one of the past and one of the present, the movie in a way constantly counters itself, contrasting the Michelle and Ryan before they were married to the post-marriage Michelle and Ryan.

In the first scene, Michelle and her grandmother return home, to the surprise of her mother, who audibly exclaims that she thought it was her husband. Michelle then asks her grandmother about "what it felt like to be in love," to which her grandmother answers "I never knew." Michelle is clearly surprised by this answer, as if it was one she least expected. In a way, its an answer nobody expects from a film, although it is very realistic opinion. This also contradicts the idea that for women, the road to happiness is attracting males for a successful heterosexual lifestyle (Ward, 2003). In this scene, the road to happiness is through love not attraction. Her grandmother tells Michelle that it is important to fall in love with the right person, a person that will care for you, and show regard for you through the relationship. Michelle responds that she never wants to be in a relationship like her parents, where they show almost no compassion for each other at all. All of these messages seem to complement each other to advise against marrying on impulse and making sure the one you fall in love with is someone that you can have a healthy relationship with. In this scene, it never advises to marry for wealth or status and it is clear that the key component in a working relationship, in the eyes of the characters present, is love.

A similar scene occurs with Ryan Gosling on his first day of work for a moving company. He asks an older co-worker how he meets girls, to which the co-worker simply replies, "I just talk to them." Ryan starts saying how men are actually way more romantic than woman, which by itself contradicts many other sources of media, which usually portray the male as sexually insatiable and always wanting sex, e.g. urgency script (Kelly, 2010). He says that "when we get married, we marry like one girl. We're resistant, the whole way, until we meet one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I didn't marry this girl, she's so great. But it seems like girls get to a place and they just pick the best option. They spend their whole life looking for prince charming and then they just pick the guy with a good job and will stick around." Like the previous excerpt, the characters are expressing only love when assessing romantic partners. There is no sexual objectification of women by the men and there are no references to how a woman must look attractive to be in a successful heterosexual relationship.

In these two symmetrical scenes, the audience is told what are supposed to be benevolent messages concerning romance. The girl is being told by her wiser grandmother that she needs to fall in love with the right person who cares for you, and the guy is expressing how he wants to marry the girl that he goes head over heels over. While neither perspective is necessarily perfect, the reasons go beyond shallow qualifications like status or aesthetics. In a way the movie reinforces that these ideals are benevolent especially because they come from wiser and more experienced sources in the grandmother and the co-worker. Compared to the more traditional messages found in Ward (2003), these are distinctly contrasting. There are none of the "recreational overtones" and men are not commenting on female's physical appearance. In fact Michelle is always dressed extremely plainly throughout the film.

In the third scene, Ryan Gosling and Michelle are eating. They are supposed to be using this time to have fun away from their daughter but there is obvious tension. Michelle asks Ryan why he won't "do something." She is clearly unsatisfied with the way the marriage is working out and also unsatisfied with Ryan's apparent lack of ambition. Ryan is offended and asks why he needs to be doing something when all he wants is to be able to be a great father. This is interesting because in terms of status, the gender roles are contradictory to the traditional male breadwinner and female housewife concepts. Michelle is a nurse while Ryan is a painter. Michelle even says that "she wishes he did something where he didn't have to drink in the morning to do."

This scene is a little different from the previous two scenes because although the audience can see that Michelle wishes Ryan had a better job, the audience also understands that this kind of dynamic is not desirable. This can be an application of Bandura's Social Learning Theory, where audience members learn what is good or bad behavior based on the consequences of each. Because the scene shows the couple being unhappy as a result from Michelle being unsatisfied with Ryan's status and voicing her concerns, the viewer may learn that a loving partner should not question her partner's career status. This goes hand in hand with what was said earlier by the grandmother because they both resemble marriage virtues related to having a regard for your partner and loving them for what they are. However, a contradictory message that a viewer may extract is that it is important for Ryan to have a "better job" so that there are no feelings of dissatisfaction about financial situations. These contradictory messages make up the theme of the entire movie both for the viewers and the characters. Both the characters before they were married had learned how to pursue romance from the wiser and more experienced. The grandmother had told Michelle to marry someone who would have regard for you. Both the viewer and Michelle had taken this genuine advice to heart. Michelle married Ryan, who would do anything for Michelle. Ryan married Michelle who was the girl of his dreams. Both of them followed what was supposed to be benevolent messages, yet they are in this unhappy state. Michelle had least wanted the type of relationship her parents had and she thought following her grandmother's advice would keep her from that path, but unfortunately, it had not. Her relationship with Dean was just as strained.

So with all these conflicting messages, what is the viewer supposed to make of the film? What is the right path to a fulfilling and happy marriage? Although Blue Valentine presents perspectives, it never presents clear answers. And maybe that is the film's answer, its version of "who knows?" There isn't one answer. There will be couples that are happy even if they live a textbook marriage with traditional sex roles and there will be couples that live very unhappily in considerate and loving marriages. Every relationship has its unique qualities and traits that require its own path. Michelle and Ryan tried too hard to fit their relationship into the archetypes presented earlier in the film, and as a result, even though they loved each other very much, they were unhappy. And by that reasoning, Blue Valentine actually imparts an important lesson to its viewers: love will not be the butterflies and fairies of the story books, no matter what path you take.

Bandura, A. (2002). Social cognitive theory of mass communication. In J. Bryant & D. Zillman(Eds.), Media effects: Advances in theory and research. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates

Kelly, M. (2010). Virginity loss narratives in "teen drama" television programs. Journal of Sex Research, 47(5), 479-489.

Ward, L.M. (2003). Understanding the role of entertainment media in the sexual socialization of American youth: A review of empirical research. Developmental Review, 23 (3), 347-388